Apologizing
by Insane-Serenity Ice Queen
Summary: I can't believe he's leaving me like this. Crushing my heart as if it were worth nothing. I hate you, Sasuke. But I'll always love you.SasuOC incest Sum micro SxS 2-shot warnings inside rating because of lang songfic mention minors having sex DLDR M2bsafe


**Apologizing {Sasuke Uchiha} two-shot prologue (My Black Dahlia)**

**A/N: this is my warning. this fic includes some things not appropriate for underage eyes also if you have issues with 13-year olds doing adult things don't read. Oh and these are the songs that go with the story: My Black Dahlia, Evil Angel, and Apologize. Sadly I'm broke which means i own nothing including the Eminem quote. Whoever finds it get a free one-shot of their request! Yeah and please don't comment about how the lyrics don't fit with some of the story. I know that but try to imagine Sasuke **_**Happily**_** fantasizing about being**_** Happy. **_**Also I don't have a beta and i would appreciate if you guys could tell me some of my spelling errors. **

I stare at him. He stares back. Not a single sound. All I hear is the rain pounding in my ears. I wish this wasn't happening.

_I loved you_

I wish he would speak. Talk! Say something! Please. Anything at all. Please.

_You made me_

He does not heed my request. He just stares. I wonder if he can even see me. He does not. He never has.

_Hate me_

His face is blank. I open my mouth. No words come out. He is still staring. I wonder if he cares. His face is clear. I understand now. He does not. He never will.

_You gave me_

I wonder if he hates me. Yes. That makes sense. He must hate me. Why else would he put me through such pain.

_Hate see_

He is starting to leave. I reach for him. He stops. I just want him close. Do not leave. I'll do anything. Just stay with me.

_It saved me_

What is this? There is water on my cheeks. It does not feel like rain. Are these tears?

_And these tears are deadly_

'_Sasuke.'_ It's a whisper. He won't hear me over this storm. Is that a look of sorrow and hurt? No. I must be imagining. Curse my feeble heart.

_You feel that_

I should allow him to leave. It's to be expected. _ I _am the only thing holding him back. I will let him leave.

_I rip that_

Why is our happiness always taken away? Don't we deserve happiness? DOESN'T_ HE_ DESERVE HAPPINESS?

_Every time you tried to steal that_

Does he actually care? He wouldn't. He couldn't. He doesn't have the room in his heart.

_You feel bad, You feel sad_

That right. There is no room. No room for me. It's all for _Itachi._ '_Jun_.' Now he speaks. NOW! SASUKE, YOU_ BASTARD!_

'_I'm sorry.' HELL NO FUCK THAT!_

HE'S ALWAYS SORRY! HE NEVER WANTS TO HURT ME! WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! DON'T FUCKING TOY WITH MY HEART SASUKE!

_It was my heart_

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY! FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER! HE'S ALWAYS DONE THIS!

_It was my life_

EVERY TIME HE SAYS HE WON'T! THEN HE GOES BACK ON HIS WORD! I CAN'T STAND HIM!

_It was my start_

HE'S ALWAYS HURTING ME! ALWAYS!

_It was your knife_

He has never agreed with me. His only side is his side. Take it or leave it. It was so hard.

_This strife, it dies_

I want to go back. Back to the way it was. No. My entire life was composed of lies. It wasn't happy. It was _hell._

_With this life and these lies_

'_dakara sona kagai hito usohappyaku' _He looks sad. '_What's wrong you taught me that song didn't you? Smile and sing along, just like we use to. Sasuke.'_

_And these lungs have sung_

We would run and sing about the kagai hito all day long without pause, not a care in the world. Well guess what **Sasuke**? I AM FUCKING TIRED OF SINGING OKAY? I AM TIRED!

_This song for too long_

I'm tired of singing. My lungs hurt. My throat hurts. My **heart** hurts. Why don't we take a break? We can finally stop. We don't have to sing anymore Sasuke.

_And its true I hurt too_

Your not the only one who's hurting Sasuke. Your actions are making me hurt too. Me and all of your other friends. Me. Naruto. Kakashi. Hell even _Sakura's _hurting because of you. We hurt because we love you. But you don't get that do you?

_REMEBER I LOVED YOU!_

You aren't the only one who lost their family Sasuke. I was there too. The day it all fell apart. The day_** we**_ lost _**our**_ family.

_I lost it all_

_Fell today_

_It's all the same_

You used to hold me. Apologize for hours on end for not being strong enough. Repeating the phrase over and over, but _you _were the strongest person I knew.

_I'm sorry, oh_

_I'm sorry, no_

You evil angel. You would beat me to near unconsciousness. Then you would hold me and apologize more claiming that it was only training. And foolish me, I believed you.

_And I've been abused_

_I feel so used_

_Because of you_

_I'm sorry, oh_

_I'm sorry, no_

And then there was that look. The look I couldn't say no to. The look that was filled to the brim with unconditional love and desire. Or so I thought.

_I wish I could have quit you_

Then there was _those days._ The days where you would go missing and i wouldn't see you for weeks. And you didn't even blink when I nearly went **insane** with** worry** and **fear.**

_I wish I never missed you_

There were also the sweet days. The days where we would sit outside and you would whisper sweet nothings in my ear as we watched the sunset. I enjoyed those rare days. They were like a dream.

_AND TOLD YOU THAT I LOVED YOU_

Then the nights. The passion-filled nights. The reasons why you would leave for those weeks, and then come back just to tell me they meant nothing. It was _heart-breaking._ But I guess I was the only _acceptable _choice for rebuilding the clan, huh.

_EVERY TIME I FUCKED YOU_

And although you didn't know it, I would fantasize for hours while you left. About what it would be like to be in a family with you. In a world with no bad. No Itachi. No Orochimaru. Just us. But that was just a pipe dream.

_THE FUTURE THAT WE BOTH DREW_

You may not have noticed, but I was always there Sasuke. At the Chunnin Exams, Orochimaru's attack, when you chased after Gaara, all those missions as Team 7, whenever you were in the hospital. Hell! I was even at the valley of death! But I was **always** there. Taking your pain onto myself.

_AND ALL THE SHIT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH_

And other times, I would cry. I would cry, and scream, and destroy one of the houses. I would go into a rage. An obsessed rage. I realized you where everywhere, controlling my actions, controlling my thoughts. It was maddening. No matter what I did it was always: _**Sasuke**__ would like this, or __**Sasuke**__ would want it like this,_ or how about my personal favorite, _**I should be more like this for**__** Sasuke.**_ I was going insane. But you didn't know. _I made sure you__ didn't__ know._

_OBSESSED WITH THE THOUGHT OF YOU_

I was torture. Loving you to the point where it hurt to_ breath_. While knowing that you didn't give a _damn_ about whether or not I was alive as long as your family line had any chance of continuing.

_THE PAIN JUST GREW AND GREW_

Yet, Did you care? Ever? That's what I thought. You stood there watching. No emotion, as I lied in a puddle of my own blood still unable to blame you for everything, even though I knew you were at fault. How could I be so stupid?

_HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?_

I remember that day. You burned every thing I had ever given you. You stood beside the flame silently, simply turning and walking away when I said, " I guess you _didn't_ like them, after all."

_LOOK AT WHAT I MADE FOR YOU_

When we were little, you may have never noticed but I did. Mother did. She was my sanctuary. From you. All of you. Want to know why? You acted just like them, Itachi and Father. I so desperately wanted to catch up with you, as you did them, yet no matter what I did it was never good enough. It felt like I was taking four steps forward only to have to take five steps back. How frustrating.

_IT NEVER WAS ENOUGH_

I gave you everything I had, you know. All my books, clothes, time, chakra, my virginity, and if I ever had to, my life. I wonder if that would have been enough? Giving you my life. Yes, no, maybe so. I'll never know.

_AND THE WORLD IS WHAT I GAVE TO YOU_

I used to **WORSHIP** you. Whenever I looked at you, I saw the most amazing person ever. Surely, you were perfect. There were no other options in my mind. You were my sun, _and_ my moon. I acted as if I were a school girl with her first crush. Maybe I was.

_I USED TO BE, LOVESTRUCK_

Now when I look at you, I see a disgustingly pathetic **child **who only wishes he could be a man. A man would be able to look me in the eye before he left, not stare at the ground. A _true_ man, though wouldn't even** dare** to _think_ of leaving my side. How pitiful you are.

_NOW I'M JUST, FUCKED UP_

You never even notices that I started wearing arm warmers like you. Others did, though. They ignored it, thinking I did it out of adoration. They were wrong. I was simply a cover up. To hide my dark obsession. My _sick_, _**twisted, **__**bloody**_, obsession.

_PULL UP MY SLEEVES AND SEE THE PATTERN OF MY CUTS_

And the thing that really got me was that through my years of chasing after you, even though I had lost **everything**, I still had the gall to fall for you. How crass of me.

_I lost it all_

_Fell today_

_It's all the same_

Well, please excuse me for all of my mistakes. Excuse me for caring. Excuse me for loving you. Excuse me for **thinking you had a heart.** It won't happen again.

_I'm sorry, oh_

_I'm sorry, no_

I hope your guilt kills you one day. You and I both know that I didn't deserve all of your harsh treatment. I guess I'm just happy that I am no longer deceived by my blind love for you. I mean, honestly. How sick to use your own **sister **for your own pleasure. A feat only capable of a monster. I wonder how everyone would look at you then when they found out. I suppose Orochimaru would be ecstatic to find out that his future body's previous owner was as corrupted as he himself is. Believe me when I tell you, I'll be happy to hear about how he ate your soul.

_I've been abused_

_I feel so used_

_Because of you_

_I'm sorry, oh_

_I'm sorry, no_

'_Looks like this is goodbye, huh?' _As expected you don't reply. I hang my head. I guess we're breaking up then. I don't think we were every really together. I was just means of repopulating a pure Uchiha clan. I don't look up. How could I stare at the man who is breaking, **no.** _**Shattering**_my heart. I couldn't bear the pain. My head snapped up at a neck breaking speed at that sound. It wasn't loud. I actually shouldn't have been able to hear it, the soft hitch in breath, it sounded like a sob, but it couldn't be could it? I look up to see tears streaming down your face. I can't believe it. Is _The_ Sasuke Uchiha actually, _crying?_ This can't be possible. But there it is, right in front of me. And even though I talked so big about relishing in your suffering, yet I still feel the tell-tale age old pang of worry, guilt, and sorrow combined pounding into my chest.

_Seems like all we had is over now_

_You left to rest _

_And your tears are dried up now_

_You just lay without a sound_

I watch as you quickly wipe away you tears, seeing that I'm staring at you. I give a small smile. How brave. Now I know, you're a big boy, you don't need little sister's help. Not that you'd ever _want_ it. I flippantly turn around, walking away with my head bowed, _'You know, Sasuke, love is evil, spell it backwards, I'll show you.'_

_Seems like all we had is over now_

_You left to rest_

_And my fears are over now_

_I can leave with my head down_

I wonder if he watched me as I departed as well. Or if he decided to leave immediately. Whatever the answer, it no longer matters. Everything is behind me now. Tonight is behind me. Sasuke Uchiha is just a part of my long grotesque past. And I _will_ leave my past behind.

_(I've lost it all_

_Fell today_

_It's all the same_

_I'm sorry, oh_

_I'm sorry, no_

_I've been abused_

_I feel so used_

_Because of you_

_I'm sorry, oh_

_I'm sorry, no)_

_**~ FINITE!~**_

**Hey everybody! How was it? Sorry if the writing style seem different in certain parts, I wrote this over a long time span. Okay so I am offering three one-shots now. 1) whoever finds my Eminem quote 2) whoever figures out how long it took me to write this, I'll tell you now, it took more than 6 months and 3) my tenth reviewer. And just for the heck of it The FIRST person who tells me what Jun's obsession is will get a free drabble! I know that isn't much but her obsession should be obvious. SO. That's all! Oh and I can't really remember what the song is about but I think it's about a Happy Man. Any questions? Yes? Well, REVIEW and you'll get your answers. JA~! :D**

**edit: I've decided to add an extra scene of aft****er Jun leaves! Be happy! And since this isn't a song fic it won't be centered. And I've obviously changed the way the episode came out but I'll try to make it work. Oh and I don't mind SasuSaku but I hate Younger Sakura so... and Please don't ask for any pairings with younger Sakura unless it's one-sided or a love-hate relationship, because I don't want to give a crappy story to anyone. :)**

**~~~~Sasuke~~~~**

****I sighed, wiping my face of any trace of my tears. It wasn't fitting of an Uchiha to cry. It was beneath us. I turned around and continued my trek toward the village gate. I noticed that sometime during the argument it had stopped raining. It couldn't really be called an argument though, could it? I only stood there as Jun's words tore at my heart. Yes, despite what she believed I did in fact have a heart and it did pain me to leave her. But I had to. Why can't she understand that this is what I need to do. For the clan. For her. If only she could understand. I needed to stop thinking about her, it would only dredge up bad memories. I thought back to the rain and how it stopped. The way I moved so slowly had combined with the summer heat drying things awfully quick. At least my sandals wound not end up soaked. But the rain and the night had made everything appear in desolate shades of blue and gray. It fit my mood. I slammed my eyes shut. Thinking of my mood only served to make me think of the cause of my mood, someone I truly did not want to think about. I grit my teeth. Why couldn't this woman leave me alone? I opened my eyes, annoyance wiping away any form of sadness in my body. I watched, not slowing my gait, as Sakura stepped out from around the corner. I was not surprised, seeing as not only had I sensed her quite obvious chakra signature, but she was also simple-minded so I automatically knew that she would try something like this. I was frustrating, knowing that I was unable to deter her in her obsessive fangirl attitude, even though I constantly told her I didn't like her. I watched her eyes widen as she saw my pack.

"It's the middle of the night. What are you hanging around here for?" I asked, watching as she meekly bowed her head at my forwardness. I couldn't fathom how it was so simple for me to tell Sakura to leave me alone yet when it was Jun I could barely utter out a sorry. I was shameful, I could hardly call myself an Uchiha.

"This is the only road, out of the village." I turned my attention back to her, shocked at my wandering attention span. I stared blankly at her as she talked softly and slowly, as if she was piecing everything together while she spoke. I began walking around her as I spoke, looking directly ahead.

"You should go to bed." She kept her head down as I spoke, simply standing there. Though, I hadn't looked at her I could smell the slight hint of salt in the air as she began crying.

"Why, Sasuke," She said turning her head to face my back. "Why won't you ever tell me anything? Why is it always silence with you? You've never shared a single thing w-"

"Why should I have to tell you anything?" I snapped, cutting her off. She pissed me off to no end. I waited while she stood in silence. "Just keep your nose out of my business. It's none of your concern." She looked down at the floor again, and a smile of contempt fell across her face.

"I know you hate me. Even in the beginning you could never stand me," She looked up at me with a face full of sorrow and broken hope. I kept my back toward her. I couldn't deal with all this right now. If I didn't face it, then it would all go away. "Remember, back when we made genin, and we were assigned to our three-man squads, but we had an extra student so they put Jun with us? We were alone together for the first time on this very spot. You got so mad at me that day." We had both remembered that moment.

_"Think about it! He just does whatever comes into his head! But if you don't have parents to tell you, how would you know? He's selfish and bratty! He's all alone!" Sakura said in a snotty voice._

_"Alone. Isolated." She tried to interject, not understanding where I was going with what I said. I didn't let her. "It's not about your parents scolding you. You have **no idea **what it means to be alone."_

_"W-why are you saying that?" She looked indignant, at what I was implying. I turned slightly, as the wind blew through my bangs._

_"Because," I said giving her a full-blown hardcore glare, "You're **annoying.**" Sakura looked as if the world had just shattered, giving in from beneath her feet with no warning, leaves swirling all around us. I began walking away, my fists balled up, as she stood in shock._

"I don't remember that." I told her heartlessly. I didn't care if I hurt her. I just wanted to get away from it all. She had stopped crying whilst remembering, but a fresh stream of tears ran down her face at my harsh words. She looked at the ground, shuffling her feet.

"Yeah, Sure! I mean, it was so long ago, right? But, still that's the day when it all began." She smiled through her tears, "It was the start of you and me! And Naruto. And Jun. And Kakashi-sensei!" Our times as Team 7 flashed through my mind. The bell test, meditating, our first A-rank, and just doing simple D-ranks and having fun while doing them, though I'd never admit it to anyone. "The five of us started going on missions. It was rough back then. Everyday was such a challenge." More memories of how Naruto always got into trouble displayed behind my eyes. This certainly wasn't helping my resolve to leave. "But, more than anything," Sakura stopped, remembering how bright and clear the stars had looked on the way back from their first A-rank. "It was so much fun" She opened her eyes to see if I had seen reason yet. Seeing that I still hadn't moved, she looked down, sucking in a gulp of breath, and probably a gulp of courage, as well. Oh how I needed courage, but I was sure that if I took that much needed gulp of air, then my composure would fly out the window, and I would break down sobbing, right where I stood. "I know about your clan, Sasuke. I do," Why must she bring that up _now?_ First I had to deal with Jun, then her bringing up all those memories, and now she wants to throw this onto the pile? I'm shattering. If I don't get out of here soon I don't know what I'll do! She continued, "And seeking revenge, that won't bring anyone happiness. Nobody at all. Not you. And not me." She's wrong. She must be. It will make me happy. It'll make Jun happy! But if it'll make me happy then why does it hurt so much? I don't care. It's too late for me now. I promised Itachi. And I_ will_ keep that promise.

"I knew it." I said. She looked up shocked that I had spoken. "I'm not the same as you. I'm traveling a path the rest of you can't follow. I know that the five of us have worked together. And for awhile, I thought I could take that path instead," I continued, my hands shoved in my pockets, so she wouldn't see how they were shaking. "But, in the end, I've decided on revenge." My eyes were hard as I stared ahead, for once explaining myself to someone. "That's always been my reason for living." I said as if I were giving and excuse, she stared on at me watching as I slipped away, though I wasn't moving. "I'll** never** be like you or Naruto."

"Don't do this, Sasuke! You don't have to be alone!" She immediately screamed realizing that I was about to depart. "You told me that day how painful a thing solitude can be. I understand that pain now." I spoke softly, her tears splattering on the stone road. "I have a family, and friends. But. If you were gone, Sasuke, then it would be the same thing for me!" She forced out, clutching her chest as if she felt the pain from her heart physically. "As being all along." The picture I had turned down on my dresser manifested before my eyes.

"This is a new beginning. Each of us has a new path lined before us."

"Sasuke!" She yelled, taking a step toward me. "I'm so in love with you I can't even stand it! If you would only be with me. I promise, I would never let you regret it. Everyday will be a joy! I can _give _you happiness! I'll do _anything_ for you, Sasuke! So PLEASE! I'm begging you! DON'T WALK AWAY!" She kept her eyes shut tight. "I'll even help get your revenge! I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen, I swear! So stay here," she sobbed, "with me. And if you can't, then take me with you, Sasuke." Her sobs got louder. I turned around. I _really _couldn't take this anymore.

"You haven't changed. You're **still **annoying." I smirked. She looked exactly the same as that day. I turned back around and began walking. She ran after me screaming.

"DON'T LEAVE ME! IF YOU GO, I'LL SCREAM A-" She stopped in shock as I suddenly disappeared from in front of her. I stood behind her in silence.

"Sakura. Thank you for everything." She gasped in shock. She hadn't understood. Those words were meant for Jun. But it'd be easier for everyone if they both misunderstood my words so I didn't clarify. There was a dull thud as I hit her on the back of the neck effectively knocking her out. As she fell, she muttered my name. I picked her up from the floor, and sat her on the bench, where she would stay, crying in her forced sleep, until morning. I listened as Jun truly left me, finally letting my sorrows out for a moment as I heard her voice whispering on the wind.

_"I knew you didn't care.'_ I pulled myself together after a minute. Steeling myself as I walked toward the Sound Four, who were waiting, not far from the village.

**"We've been waiting for you. Sasuke."**


End file.
